To Life

My mom's heart stopped this morning.


Did reading that make you sick? My stomach churns every time I've said that to myself today. 


My mom's heart just. stopped.


She had gotten out of bed to go to the bathroom. She returned to bed, said something to my dad, and when he responded, she just... I don't know... didn't say anything.


I don't know how you know that the person lying in bed next to you who was okay a second ago has just experienced cardiac arrest before your eyes, but this is the point where I say Hallelujah for a father who is a physician bordering on paranoia (a condition he refers to as "complete awareness"). And I thank Heaven that he happened to be home (not on call like he usually is). And in bed too (gosh, what if he'd just happened to get up and make himself breakfast?). She's still alive because of him (and the 5 minutes of chest compressions he performed before the paramedics could make it with a defibrillator).


If you know my mom, you won't be surprised to learn that she's more chipper than ever, laughing it up, only annoyed that she's strapped to a hospital bed.


I'm sure that's part of the reason we've had dozens of people concerned for her welfare. They love her. 


If you're among those people, she's going to be okay. 


Tomorrow they'll install an implantable cardioverter-defibrillator to prevent this from happening again. (Yes. My mother. The super-fit 48 year-old with a pacemaker.) After tomorrow, I'll be able to sleep again.