Usually when I am in a crunch like this, I turn on the TV and let my children watch Backyardigans and Sesame Street for. hours. And I end the day feeling ashamed for creating zombie children without social skills. So I thought I would be fun mom for a change and bring out the painting easel my mom got the girls for Christmas. It started well. I typed on my laptop and uttered oohs and ahs at the appropriate moments.
As I'm sure you know already, it did not end well. I started to zone into my work. And zone out from my kids. And let me just thank Melissa and Doug for washable paint. Because it ended up all over the walls and the door frames, and our stark white kitchen vanity.
The rest of the day didn't go that much better. Bonnie and Clyde over here kept themselves busy.
- They played "ocean" in their swimsuits. This game consisted of fleeing from a man-eating shark. It resulted in noisy, screaming sprints up and down the hall.
- The younger one whacked the older one on the nose with a closet rod. That resulted in a bloody nose and a clean off in the shower. Conveniently she was already in a bathing suit. I should note that the hitting was an accident. I believe it was part of some rowing in a boat charade.
- They used a loaf of bread to pretend they were flipping pancakes.
- They painted with nail polish on the wall.
- And while I was totally immersed in the computer screen, they snipped off a generous lock of my hair. I don't know how that happens.
I've had a few days like this recently when I wonder how Jude manages to be such a terror when I'm standing right there. Yes, I am saying that I cannot control my own child. He dumps things on the floor. He opens child-locked medicine and splashes it's iron-filled contents allllll over our carpet. And I'm right there. There is no excuse. At least you were trying to get things done...
ReplyDeleteThey were total angels over here. What the crap? My kid is a wreck for me and an angel for his school teacher. What gives? No justice in this world, Elise. No justice.
ReplyDeletehahaha this is hilarious! I can't believe they cut your hair haha that is just too funny
ReplyDeleteI don't, Elise!! I don't wonder why! :) Love them anyway.
ReplyDeleteWait, tell me Elisa will stay an infant forever...
ReplyDeleteWe got that same easel from grandma. And my children hit each other with closet rods on purpose.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!! Thank you for creating a very familiar scene:) You are such a GREAT writer...I LOVE reading your witty style!!!!
ReplyDeleteI adore your comments and the way you write is just wonderful. I love it that you call your children "Bonnie and Clyde". I call mine "mental patients." After school today, mine decided to blow bubbles in the house, which is not good as you slip in the stuff if you don't know it's there. *sigh*! I am glad your mom is home and trying to recover. Anything she needs....
ReplyDeleteKimberly Mac Donagh
Seriously, the lock of hair has me laughing out loud - SO funny! And not funny. I know. We have had a few days of anarchy at our house recently and I am totally maxxed out - being a mom is hard work! Especially when you are catching up on things!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I know the feeling :) They were perfect angels here as well... kids always are away from home! Miss you here in TX.
ReplyDeleteElise, we've only met once or twice, but I had to tell you the hair cutting happened to me, too!! Huge chunk near the front. Gotta love the adventures of being a mom! Thanks again for all the updates, and now, with your fever, we'll be praying for you too!!
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