Frowny face.

Let me preface this by saying how much I LOVE Grace's kindergarten teacher. She is wonderful. Amazing.

My only beef is... This just doesn't look like a mop.

A Winner!

Only one of you guessed correctly. In all fairness, I exaggerated on the true ones a little more than I should have. I'll tell you where.

• Swine Flu: True. Swine Flu apparently mutates just like every other flu. Which means I could theoretically get it every year. And that would just be mean. Exaggerations: I feel bad about this one. It's really more of a lie. Brad vacuumed up the Moon Dough. He felt it would just be too much for me to handle. He was right.
• Fire Department Job: 100% true. Last May, we were living in Lubbock after Brad had decided that a Masters Degree in Engineering was not going to be worth his time. We didn't have a job. And the job search is kind of hard. We saw an ad for firefighters in Carlsbad (where we still owned our home). He tried out. He placed 6th overall, 2nd in the combat challenge (out of 30ish). If he'd had his EMT license he would have placed first or second overall. Anyway. Because of his lack of medical training, he didn't get a call until the beginning of this month. In the meantime, we moved back to our house in Carlsbad. He got a job as a Project Manager at an electrical company in town. He liked it. And when the Fire Department called, it was hard for him to quit his job. But he did. And he tried firefighting. And it turns out fire calls are not that exciting. Also, Brad's not really an adrenaline junkie, so it wouldn't matter if they were. There were lots of other reasons not to like it (the fumes from burning junk, the schedule, the pay)... So he asked for his old job back. And they did actually say they were "thrilled" to get him back. (I'm thrilled too... Even if I do miss him in uniform.)
• Baby Blues: True. It's getting better though since I cut back on the chocolate. Which is really sad. Because eating chocolate just feels so good. Exaggerations: I don't actually mutter to myself. I just want to. Also. It does not actually look like the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina around here. We have drywall. And working plumbing.
• Laundry: True. To Mom: This is a direct quote: "Elise, you are amazing. And the best wife ever. Thank you." Pretty sure if I cured cancer, he would say exactly the same thing.
• Quitting Preschool: False. People. I love preschool. Those little munchkins and I have a blast. Plus, it gives me a reason to clean my floors and my bathrooms twice a week. Bonus.

So. Congratulations to my sister, Brittany. You have won an all-expense paid vacation to visit me. Activities include laundry folding, dish doing, children tending, and bill paying. Please call to redeem your prize!

Let's Play a Game

Wow. So I was not expecting that kind of response to Grace's dancing. I guess I'll put "Register Grace for dance classes" on my list of things to do.

Speaking of things to do. I have been a pretty bad blogger lately. I know you've really been concerned. I realize your entire life completely revolves around my riveting posts. But. I will have it known that I have a couple of semi-decent excuses for my blogging lapse.

For fun, I present to you the following list of scenarios. All of them are 100% true and unexaggerated. (Okay. Well, mostly unexaggerated.) Except for one. Guess which.

• My 105 degree fever (courtesy of the swine flu) lasted seven full days. I was in bed for all of them. The chills kept me in sweaters, socks, and sweatpants under my covers. Having the fever dissapear might have been a welcome relief. Might have. Unfortunately, while I was sick, the munchkin terrorists wreaked havoc on the homefront. So getting well really meant: scrubbing 7 days of dishes, washing and drying 12 loads of laundry (which I wasn't caught up on in the first place), vacuuming entire packets of Moon Dough sprinkled over the carpets, sweeping up crackers crushed across the dining room floor, and paying the bills (all of them late).
• I decided to quit the little preschool I have on Mondays and Wednesdays. It's too much work. And all Claire does is whine and cry.
• This month Brad accepted a position with the local fire department which he earned in part due to his awesome finish time on the combat challenge. He stayed there a week. Then he realized how much he liked his other job. And he quit. His old bosses were "thrilled" to have him back. (And I was happy. Because that's what I wanted in the first place.)
• I have been fighting briefly against a long delayed case of baby blues. This means I spend half the day with Weston in my rocking chair muttering, "go to my happy place. go to my happy place." Brad comes home, finds me like this, and tells me the house looks amazing. What it really looks like is the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. But bless his soul.
• I started folding laundry again two weeks ago. Brad woke up one morning, took his shower, and headed straight to the laundry room to go dryer diving for underwear. I yelled to him from bed, "Look in your drawer!" When he opened it to find neatly folded clothing, his reaction was enough to make me believe I'd cured cancer. Again: bless him.

Best of luck in your guess. Winner gets a special prize. Like respect or something.

Should this terrify me? Because it does.

Brad is on a team in our city's basketball league. Games are held at the local Rec center (which used to be the city's power plant and makes for a seriously crazy building).

Anyway.

Last Thursday, the gym was packed. One side housed basketball players. The other side held Zumba participants. Grace could not contain herself. She watched them for a few minutes.

Then she jumped in. Front and center.

This kind of exhaustion.

Apparently Mom is now falling asleep in the middle of things. Like family scripture study. And it can happen so fast that her phone's backlight is still on.



In case you're wondering, the fact that Dad is asleep next to her is no cause for alarm. He's always been part narcoleptic.

Perspective

We have had a crazy month. Not quite sure I can write about it yet. Not sure exactly what I would write.

So I'll put a temporary hold on that.

In the meantime, it's been difficult to get a good picture of how my mom's doing. I'm so far away. And phonecalls are few--she tires easily. That's hard to get used to. I'm one of those annoying children who calls her mom everyday and talks for an hour. So I feel like I'm being weaned. At 28.

We have been able to Skype a few times. As i mentioned, she is tired. She can't get out a lot yet. But she hasn't fibrillated since she's been home, and that is excellent news.

This last week put Texas (along with our neck of the desert) into a freeze, and it did some damage to my mom and dad's house. I got this from my dad this morning:

"A couple of nights ago, I was walking into the garage and met karlee at the door. She was screaming beyond the top of her lungs. I also heard screaming in the house. I had no idea what was being said, but all I could picture in my mind was my wife, dead on the floor. I ran inside, and there was Betsy pointing to the theater ceiling, where gallons of water were pouring down through the light cans. Obviously a pipe had burst in the attic. I looked at both Karlee and Betsy and as calmly as I could, I said 'don't ever scream at me like that again, unless one of you is DEAD.' Then I calmly turned the water off, and went to find my secret stash of Jack Daniels."

So, good news. The indoor rainstorm didn't stop my mom's heart, and we all have an improved perspective on the value of life compared to property.

Also. I'm 99% sure he was kidding about the Jack Daniels.

Of course if he had actually found my mom on the floor, all bets are off.