Thursday, October 29, 2009

Universe, can we be friends now?

Last weekend I drove to visit Brad in Lubbock. Alone. It was hard to leave the girls since I see so little of them as it is. But I missed Brad. A lot. And 12 hours of driving in only two days with two little girls in the car just felt overwhelming. (Finding bathrooms every two hours and holding one daughter while helping the other onto the toilet, for example, is more than I was emotionally ready to deal with on that particular weekend.) So, I packed the car and took off.

I stopped once. It was for gas. And I left my car running while filling up since the alternator is troubled and sometimes the car won't start. I didn't want to have to ask a stranger for a jump. It was much easier to risk a static fire and blowing up the gas station instead.

Brad and I had a wonderful time. I really like him. He makes me laugh. 

And then the next day I packed up and headed home. In the middle of the day. Because I get sleepy and apparently drunk driving is a problem for highways in the middle of nowhere. Thought I would avoid problems.

Until I hit a deer. 

To be fair, I think it should really be blamed on him. The deer. I mean, he saw me. He saw me long enough to hesitate, actually bound away momentarily, and then decide, "Yeah, I'm going for it!" 

I saw him long enough to slow down from 70 mph to 40.

And then I passed slowly enough to watch him flip 6 feet in the air and land on the side of the road. When I turned around to find him, he was gone. 

I felt sick. I'm pretty sure I fatally injured that deer. 

Surprisingly, I thought nothing of my car. Until I thought to myself, "How am I not finding it? Shouldn't there be blood or antlers or tire marks or something?" So, I got out of the car, looked around the area, turned... 

and my hood was just completely crumpled.

I made it home fine. But remember the fritzy alternator? And although my hood is crumpled enough to see underneath, I can't actually open it. You know, to jump it.

Guess whose mom is driving her to work and picking her up everyday?

Add that to apartment rental problems (and wicked expensive apartments!), drama at work, an unusually grumpy and obstinate Grace, an unsleeping Claire, and an absent (temporarily) husband. And that would be why I'm a little nuts. and tired.
But writing this made me laugh. And that makes me feel betterish. How about you? Anything you can make funny and laugh about?


  1. I love you, woman! And I miss you. I'm glad you got to see Brad and that the deer was hurt instead of you. Maybe he was a suicidal deer. I claim that the squirrel I hit when I was 17 was trying to end it. I feel sorry for the poor chap.

  2. Emily, are you still upset about that squirrel? That was a long time ago. Therapy, maybe?

    Elise, here's what Marjorie Hinckley used to say: Sometimes you have to either laugh or cry, and crying gives me a headache. So, you're sounding just like a prophet's wife. It sounds to me like your family's healthy and the deer didn't kill you. Count your blessings, right?

  3. When I hit a buck, I got a rental car for a while and a check that paid for an upgraded car. Apparently, it is always considered the animal's fault... by insurance, anyway. Any by me. Respect the painted lines, Bambi!

  4. elise. elise. whenever i feel less than brave about joe taking on four more years of school, i think of you. you are much braver than me in so many ways. and much braver than deer. you wouldn't be so insensitive as to jump in front of someone's commuter car.

  5. Elise- that deer had it coming. I haven't hit a deer yet, but Tom and Kathleen have very little good to say about those little Bambis who jump in front of your car. I am so sorry that happened!! We need t have you guys over- as if you didn't already have tons going on.

  6. Elise! This is funny. I'm sorry, but I'm dying here laughing. It's just one this after another.

    If it makes you feel better, I have no children and a husband at home and my house is back in FAIL mode. Your plate is full. Mine is empty. At least you have excuses...

    Loves and Hugs!

  7. ELISE!! Oh my goodness, wow. Wow. So so so sorry. I guess we should start by saying that thank goodness you are ok, and that you have a wonderful husband and kids. But then, let's move on and just say POOR YOU!! That is just no fun. I did get a crack up about you saying it was better to blow up the gas station than ask a stranger for a jump. Well said. =)

    Here's hoping that you are just putting up with some troubles as an up-front investment and that it will be a smooth-sailing year from here on out!

    By the way, my sister has hit a deer, 2 coyotes, and something else in the last year. She won't even drive in the evenings anymore. Ever. At all. She's so freaked out...poor girl... but if you want some moral support, I'll put her in touch. ;)

  8. Please write professionally -- I promise to read everything you write! I really enjoy your blog, dare I say it's my *favorite*? I save it for last, like dessert. Except for those times where you just really want to eat dessert, then it's first.

  9. Oh, my heart.

    You wrote this beautifully.

    I hope things look up and up.

  10. When I was in the fourth grade, my mom was driving me to an Odyssey of the Mind meeting when we hit a deer. Deer crap splattered all over the car. Not dainty little pellets like they leave all around the forest--brown nastiness everywhere. At first I thought it was blood--I guess the relaxing of the sphincter muscle is better than blood and guts right?

  11. I bet the deer was fine. I remember being in a train that was almost derailed when it hit a herd of deer. One of them stood up from under the train, and bounded off into the forest. They can really take a beating.