I believe writing is a form of therapy. But cheaper. Which makes it better. That's what today's entry is.
You have been warned.
First of all: I. Miss. My. Gracie. She has spent the last week with Grandma Betsy. I am aching.
Second of all: I had a crappy day. Excuse my language.
I woke up at 5 this morning for a test in Roswell that will qualify me for teaching special education in Texas. It was a whole family affair (minus Grace) since I needed Claire to be close for feeding purposes and I needed Brad to watch her during the test. We all loaded into the car and started on the road, and just to be safe, I checked my purse (which was already in the car) to make sure my wallet was in there.
That made me a little nervous. Maybe a little freaking out, actually, because I KNEW I left my wallet in my purse. Seriously, I really did. I know that I have the tendency to lose things, but I think I remember looking in the rear view mirror and seeing my wallet in my purse on the back seat. I'm pretty sure. But I still couldn't find it. Which is why we went back to the house, looked for my wallet, and finally grabbed my passport to save time.
So, that's not the greatest way to start the day. It made me a little anxious. Also, I was nauseated. Apparently, that's what happens to me if I wake up before 8:30. Didn't know that. Haven't done it in a while. Anyway, I tried really hard to calm down. Because in my test review session we learned some test-taking secrets, and one of them was that a racing pulse plus throwing up equals really bad test results. Write that down.
Anyway, I got to Roswell, found the campus, wandered aimlessly around campus, asked for directions, and made it to the testing center. Early. An hour early, apparently. None of the testing attendants seemed to be very motivated at 7 am.
When my computer administrated test finally began, I sat at a computer that had the lab logo burned into the screen. The lab attendants might need screen saver training. The damaged screen made all the questions blurry. Which made for painful, dizzying test taking. You know, it's amazing I can't remember what the logo was. I'm surprised it didn't embed itself into my retinas.
Halfway through the test, I realized that I don't remember algebra. This is an unfortunate thing to realize in the middle of a section of the test grading algebra. Next question.
At the end of the test (which took three hours) I was given an option to cancel my test results or to report my results. Cancelling meant that neither I nor any entity would be given access to my answers. It would be as if I hadn't taken the test. I don't know why this is an option, exactly. I mean, I paid money to take this test. And this question is at the END of a very long test. And to be honest, the screen was so blurry and my brain was so hammered that I'm afraid I may actually have clicked the "cancel" option. I was very specifically careful to NOT press cancel, but I was also very specifically careful to leave my wallet in my purse.
It was also my understanding that I was supposed to get some preliminary results after the test, and I didn't.
Oh, man. What if I pressed the cancel button?
Anyway, we got home and a neighbor knocked on my door. She had found my wallet in her yard. It was missing cash, Target gift cards, blah blah.
So I spent the rest of the night on the phone. Cancelling things. And researching identity theft. And losing faith in humanity. (I hate theft. Seriously. Why do people steal? It's so mean.)
But I did reclaim a tiny ounce of self-certainty. I mean, I KNEW I had left my wallet in the car.