I don't usually mind giving talks at church. I usually spend a lot of time preparing. Sometimes I fast. I don't usually get too nervous in front of large crowds.
Maybe that's why it was so bad today.
Today, for whatever reason, was a train wreck. I had prepared a little. I had thought a lot about Resurrection, the Atonement. I had planned to talk about my grandma's death. I had planned to talk about the sorrow that comes in life. I had planned to talk about the hope that Christ's resurrection brings. I had planned to reference Elder Holland and Wirthlin and President Monson.
Instead, I stood up, rambled and blabbered for approximately 5 minutes, and sat down.
I don't know whether I want another chance at speaking, or whether I want to hide under a rock and refuse to ever speak or hold a calling again.
It was that bad.
If you are in my ward, I apologize profusely. If you are not... I'm glad I can still count a few people who don't consider me a complete moron.
The positive news is... Easter did happen. Christ did rise from the dead. The tomb is empty. And that glorious thing is true anyway. Hopefully people remember that. Maybe once I stop cringing over my idiocy I can remember that too.
Riiiiiiiight.... Completely ruined.
ReplyDeleteThis is an example of the self-defeating side of Elise. Don't worry, she doesn't stay long.
Have you seen Tangled? What am I thinking? Of course you have. Then you've seen the part where Rapunzel first leaves the tower and has her manic depressive moments about how happy/sad she is about leaving the tower. I couldn't help thinking of you, dear Elise, as I watched that great scene.
You'll be fine. It was probably a great talk.
Elise, I'm pretty sure that if you spoke for 5 min., then it was 5 min. of a spiritualy packed message, and that is all that was needed. Sometimes our spirits are soooooo full, we don't need to say much. :)
ReplyDeleteYour title made me laugh out loud. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteWhether it was really as bad as you say (doubt it), I completely understand. In fact, I gave a lesson in RS a couple of months ago that literally had me cringing while I was trying to fall asleep that night. Literally, I kept groaning spontaneously as I would remember something I said here or shouldn't have said there...
And it gets worse. Somebody asked me how my lesson went a few days later. I was so embarrassed that I started crying and couldn't talk (I *was* pregnant at the time, I'll blame it on that). Everyone went quiet and then just tried to change the subject. SO humiliating.
Anyway, good to know I'm in good company. Not that you did as bad a job as me, but good company of someone else who gets worried about these things!