Attempting Motherhood

Happy half-birthday to the little nugget!

In celebration, here's a list of what motherhood has made me do over the past year-and-a-half:

1. Cut coupons
2. Worry loudly over infantile constipation
3. Snap over 1000 photos
4. Trash any hopes of scrapbooking them
5. Gratefully accept hand-me-down clothes
6. Pick someone else's nose
7. Disco-jive to Bach (Baby Einstein Style)
8. Stop pleasure-reading
9. Visit my parents in Texas every other month
10. Sit helpless in the airplane while the strapped-in-her-car-seat monkey rhythmically kicks the seat of the man in front of her
11. Make repeated apologies for things I have no control over (but maybe I used to do that before)
12. Speak in high, faux-excited tones
13. Walk ten minutes every day getting only half way up the street
14. Carry a purse that holds: A bottle of Children's Motrin, 1 sippy cup containing rotten milk, 1 empty baby-wipe container, 1 half-full baby wipe container, sticky M&Ms, never more than $4 cash, flouride, mineral oil, 2 bottles of water, a ziploc bag of raisins, an old-no-longer-in-service-cell phone, and 0 diapers. (How can I always forget those?)
15. Fear: heights, bathwater, flammable pajamas, carbon monoxide, vehicles in reverse, germs, and church nursery
16. Go to the bathroom with the door open
17. Panic when I fail to get home by 2:00 pm for naptime
18. Cry at the end of "The Little Engine That Could" (in the middle of Storytime at the local Library)