Beaurocracy has its drawbacks.

Do you know that if your license expires in Texas you are required to take the written and the driving tests?

Yes, that's right. The driving test.

I know this from experience. My license expired last month. I tested a month later. [Don't judge me. The threat of testing is highly intimidating.]

I failed parallel parking in a serious way. A ten feet from the curb kind of way. But no other problems. I passed. (I have wicked-awesome stopping-at-stop-sign skills.)

I finally returned to the long line of people to receive my actual license. I took the eye test. I had my thumbs printed. I smiled for my picture. They printed a demo-license for my approval. I looked it over, ready to sign off, and then noticed that my name had been misspelled.

I was told nothing could be done to fix it.

Yes, that's right. Nothing.

"We are required," the licensing agent explained, "to follow the spelling as shown on your official identification document." And apparently, 10 years ago some bored government drone had spelled my name "ELLSE" on my passport.

I protested. I showed them my debit card. My former driver's license. My apartment bills. My marriage license. But government drones are stubborn.

And then they proceeded to tell me to sign my real name--which they acknowledged was, in fact, Elise.

I don't get it either.

But I wasn't about to sign "Ellse," so I obeyed.

Meet Ellse.